Caregiver
Your New Role | Eat Well | Exercise | Laugh | Sleep | How to Lift Someone | Signs of Stress | Get Additional Help | Take a Walk | Find Someone to Talk With | Join a Support Group | Time for Yourself | Respite Care | Younger Caregiver

All Caregiver Tips

Your new role as caregiver will affect the whole family.

Caregiving can bring out the best and worst in us. Many people find the experience of caring for a loved one rewarding, but it's not always a positive experience.

• Does your family support you in your new caregiving role?
• Do they understand that they will have to make some changes, too?
• Are your siblings in agreement about the situation? Will they participate in the care or supervision of their parent?

Caregiving can challenge even the healthiest of relationships. And a history of difficult relationships with the care receiver or with other family members can make caregiving particularly challenging.

• Do you generally get along with your parent or relative? Or do you have an adversarial relationship?
• Are there any unresolved conflicts or old resentments?
• Are you prepared for the role reversal of being the "parent" now?

Eat a healthy diet.

Generally, a healthy diet is rich in plant foods, such as vegetables, fruits, and whole grains, and low in fat and sugar.

Your daily diet should include:

• Two to three servings from the milk, yogurt, and cheese group.
• Two to three servings from the meat, poultry, fish, dry beans, eggs, and nuts group.
• Two to four servings from the fruit group.
• Three to five servings from the vegetable group.
• Six to 11 servings from the bread, cereal, rice, and pasta group.
• Fats, oils, and sweets sparingly.

Source: The Food Guide Pyramid from the U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA)

Exercise and stay physically fit.

Physical activity relaxes and re-energizes your body. It can also boost your immune system, to help fight off illnesses like colds that stress can cause.

Other benefits:

• tend to eat better.
• keep your bones strong.
• build muscle.
• help you lose weight and keep it off.
• help you feel better about yourself.

Laugh.

Think about something funny and laugh. Guffawing is even better.

Keep a good joke book close at hand.

Rent funny videos to watch with your mom and dad.

Get enough sleep.

Try these tips to overcome sleep problems:

• Wake up the same time every day.
• Avoid caffeine four to six hours before bedtime and cut down during the day.
• Avoid nicotine, especially near bedtime and if you wake up during the night..
• Don't drink alcohol late in the evening.
• Don't consume heavy meals close to bedtime. However, a light snack might help you fall asleep.
• Exercise in the late afternoon to deepen sleep. Vigorous exercise within three to four hours of bedtime could inhibit sleep.
• Minimize noise, light, and excessive temperature at bedtime.
• Move the alarm clock away from the bed if it's a source of distraction.

Learn how to lift others safely.

You are at greatest risk for back pain when you are pulling a person who is reclining in bed into a sitting position, transferring a person from a bed to a chair, or leaning over a person for long periods of time.

• Always keep the person who is being moved close to your body.
• Keep your feet shoulder-width apart to maintain your balance.
• Use the muscles in your legs to lift and/or pull.
• When you lift or move a person, maintain the proper alignment of your head and neck with your spine. Maintain the natural curve of your spine; don't bend at your waist.
• Avoid twisting your body when carrying a person.
• If the person is too heavy, get help.

Some signs of stress.

Caregiving can be as difficult as it is rewarding. It is normal to feel angry, frustrated, or depressed from time to time. In addition, you may not get any thanks from the person you are caring for.

Signs of stress include:

• Feeling sad or moody.
• Crying more often than you used to.
• Having low energy level.
• Feeling like you don't have any time to yourself.
• Having trouble sleeping, or not wanting to get out of bed in the morning.
• Having trouble eating, or eating too much.
• Seeing friends or relatives less often than you used to.
• Losing interest in your hobbies or the things you used to do with friends or family.
• Feeling angry at the person you are caring for or at other people or situations.

Talk with family members about getting additional help.

Explain that you need some help so you can stay healthy and reduce some stress. At the same time, listen to any concerns your parent has about bringing someone in.

• Sometimes members of the family will disagree as to whether outside services are needed.
• Family members may not be aware of everything you do to take care of your parent.

Continue the conversation and communicate why it is important both for you and for your parent.

You can get additional help from both formal and informal services.

Formal services include:

• geriatric case manager
• home health agency providers
• home health aids
• nurses
• physical and occupational therapists

Informal help could come from:

• neighbors
• people from the church or synagogue
• friends
• a housecleaning service.

If you're feeling really frustrated, temporarily remove yourself from the situation.

• Take a short walk outside or go into the next room.
• Take a few minutes to write down your feelings in a journal.
• Work a crossword puzzle.
• Read for a few minutes.

Return to your loved one when you've quieted yourself.

Find someone you can talk with.

• Call a friend.
• Call a hot line.
• Talk to a professional: The clergy, social workers, psychologists, and nurses are often trained to provide counseling on caregiving issues.
• Help may also be available through your employee assistance program.

Join a caregiver support group.

There is great strength in knowing you are not alone. Find a support group where you can share your feelings and concerns.

Members of support groups often have helpful ideas or know of useful resources based on their own experiences.

Try an online support group if it's difficult for you to get away from home.

Carve out time for yourself, even if it's just an hour or two.

Don't let your loved one's illness or disability always take center stage. You're doing a very hard job and deserve some quality time, just for you.

• Go to a movie.
• Have lunch with a friend.
• Just sit and read a book.

Consider adult day care or respite services to ease the day-to-day demands of caregiving.

Take your loved one to an adult day care center several afternoons or days each week. A regular schedule will be good for your loved one and for you, knowing you'll have time to yourself.

Respite care is a service that provides temporary care for an older person.

• Get help with a specific task such as bathing your loved one.
• Hire a companion to come visit with your loved one once a week so you can get out by yourself.
• Have health care providers care for your relative at home or in an extended care facility while you go on vacation.

Younger caregivers face some unique challenges.

They are more likely to:

• be employed.
• have children under 18 years of age still at home.
• have less help from relatives.

Feelings of resentment towards the illness or the ill spouse for disrupting things aren't uncommon.